The Great Wyrm’s eyes snapped open at the precise time set for the regular reporting. His asset was sometimes troublesome, often unperceptive, occasionally mired in trivia, but always prompt. This alone separated the asset from the multitude of lesser beings occupying this world, and was one of the primary reasons the asset remained useful to the Wyrm.
Nothing happened. Time passed.
The Wyrm rumbled deep in his throat. He was not amused, and briefly contemplated being vexed before rejecting the temptation as non-productive. A vocalization in his custom command language brought up the draco-interface of the massive crystalline artifact that occupied the majority of his lair.
Error 404: Service Not Found
The Wyrm’s eyes narrowed. That should not be possible, not with the recent upgrades that permitted even cross-planar communication. A series of commands flowed from his mind, instructing the artifact to engage more sophisticated routing algorithms and to deploy the Level One Infosphere Tactical Agents.
Error 451: Unavailable for Legal Reasons
Lightning flickered about the Wyrm’s lips. Someone was interfering with his link, and doing so in a decidedly flippant way. This was NOT supposed to be an active error code.
Then the Level One Agents reported back with their trace results, just before transmitting a burst of white noise that indicated their abrupt termination. The trace was… unique. And explained much.
The Wyrm sighed. Well, his asset was going to have to find his own way out of the mists. He wasn’t nearly important enough for the Wyrm to engage personally, and such an action wasn’t assured of success even if all of the Wyrn’s considerable power was brought to bear. Not against the Powers responsible for the Error 451.
Still, the Wyrm had other assets and other problems to deal with for the time being. One, a decidedly odd spike in dark-energy caught his attention. The sensor in question couldn’t pinpoint the precise timing of the spike thanks to some coincident tachyon radiation, but his artifact—oddly—was reporting a nearby asset who could be queried…
Error 418: I’m a Teapot
The dragon immediately engaged his full suite of Level Four Defensive Infosphere Combatives, and for the first time ever, contemplated a precautionary disconnect.